Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life

I bought a pack of disposable paper bowls from the grocery store.

On the plastic wrapping, it had a label:  Questions or comments?  Call “1-800-..etc…”

Which immediately made me think- Someone, somewhere in this world, is standing by at a telephone, awaiting questions and/or comments about disposable paper bowls.  I can’t decide if that’s really, really boring or really, really intriguing.  What sorts of questions do people have about paper bowls?  What sorts of comments?  And how do they get answers?  Does the representative study all there is to know about these paper bowls, or is there a “Frequently Asked Questions” database that he accesses to answer most inquiries about the paper bowls?  How extensive is this database?  And how was it created?  Was it based on actual questions, or did they make the FAQ database before the questions started rolling in at the release of the paper bowl product?  If it was made beforehand, that means there was a committee brainstorming what types of questions people would call in about, regarding disposable paper bowls.  That’s even more amazing of a job than the guy who sits there fielding calls about the paper bowls.

I’ve decided I want to be that guy answering calls about paper bowls.  I’m sure most days are uneventful, but every now and then, you might get a doozie of a call.  A person calling in and asking whether or not the disposable paper bowl is effective as armor against a bear attack.  And as you tell the guy, “No,” you hear his screams above the sounds of roaring, flesh ripping, and paper tearing.

They probably don’t let you have recording devices on the job, unfortunately.