Too many trees overhang my morning walk. Every morning I hear the shuffling and rustling of branches above my head. Leaves fall around me. Soon, a squirrel will land on my head. I know it.
But I haven’t accepted it yet. So, I thought about wearing a football helmet. But then, what if the squirrel lands on the face mask, and bounces into my face, thereby trapped between my face and the mask? Okay, no football helmet. How about an umbrella? Then, the umbrella’s height might be high enough to hit the branches, knocking squirrels from the branches that otherwise wouldn’t have fallen. Is there any solution, other than me walking around in one of those ultra-padded police dog training sumo outfits? If there is, I hope they sell it for cheap at Wal-Mart sometime soon, because I would thoroughly enjoy peace of mind at low, low prices.