Here’s the thing: I want to get to 2,000 Facebook fans by next Friday. Can you help? Here’s what you’ll get in return:

A guarantee from me that you’ll never wake up in the middle of the night and think you see a shadowy figure in the corner staring back at you, and when you adjust your eyes to the darkness you see that you’re right and it’s actually me in a ninja outfit, doing intimidating ninja fighting stances, and when you reach for your phone you realize that I actually am your phone and you can’t scream because I cut the scream lines on my way in the house! Then I’ll read you a bedtime story so you fall back asleep and you’ll wake up not knowing if you actually experienced the whole thing or if it was just a crazy dream. Then you’ll look up on the ceiling and see a sign that says, “IT WAS NOT A DREAM” and you’ll scream because I’m holding the sign and now I have a knife.


UPDATE: 2,000 has been reached! But keep on liking, because that means that you are a bonus!