I have decided that suntan lotion is the best smell on Earth. I want to build a house out of suntan lotion, but that’s not practical. I’d have to find contractors who have experience building liquid housing, and they’re probably so expensive that I wouldn’t have money left to buy all the suntan lotion once I paid them, so the only thing to do would be to have them build the house and then not pay them, but they’d know where I lived so I couldn’t hide from them. Even if I put the house on wheels and drove away, they could track it by the wonderful scent. The lovely, wonderful scent of happiness would then be tainted with the memory of being beat up by contractors with shovels and liquid drywall (wetwall?). I won’t taint your essence with that, suntan lotion. It shall remain an oily, UV-free dream.
