I don’t understand how microwaves are safe. In-home radiation? Many times, I’ll open the door while the microwave is still cooking the hot pocket and it stops instantly, but aren’t there radiation “fumes” still in the air, or do they disappear instantly? Basically what I’m asking is will I gain super powers any time soon.
EDIT: Judging by the responses, it looks like I won’t get super powers any time soon. Anybody want to buy a closet full of capes and grappling hooks?
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The second plane had a sign saying… I guess a sign with nothing on it is pretty attention grabbing, you expect people to pay money to say something, not to not say anything.
Haha there was an error in the alt text when I uploaded it, fixed now, but yes a blank sign would definitely get more attention than most signs.
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like this sign? Follow me on spitter!
(bet you’re sorry you gave me a wedgie in third grade now, Melvin!)
Wet Willies were what got me.
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If you’re regularly eating Hot Pockets, radiation fumes are the least of your worries.
Well that depends on what you mean by “regularly.” Two a day? Three a day? Four a day? Do people really eat that few?
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I actually looked this up. It’s really not a worry. (The microwave, not the hot pockets.) It’s not the kind of radiation that mutates you and/or breaks down and damages your tissue so much as the type that will burn you. I had to look it up because my friend’s microwave broke in such a way that it would only turn on when the door was OPEN.
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I’m guessing you’re joking about this microwave stuff. If not, send me an email or just check wikipedia.
The only fumes coming out of my microwave are yummy fumes of cooked bacon. Yeah, bacon!
You’re confusing me for somebody who puts effort into learning things! And microwave bacon? Sounds fascinating.
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Microwave bacon… *shudder*
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The super powers will come in your sleep only, so the best way to go about it is to trick the microwave-mechanism that makes the radiation stop when the door is opened and just sleep on “high” for a couple of nights. Abundant powers will ensue!
I’ll try it, but if you’re lying to me, and I don’t get superpowers, and instead become a mutant like the Toxic Avenger, and somehow get a job working at a restaurant, I’m totally giving you food that I accidentally dropped on the floor and then considered throwing away because, man, that was so long ago, the whole microwave thing, but then I’d hear you complaining to the waitress about some nitpicky thing and I wouldn’t feel so bad after all.
You mark my words.
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You, Sir, will not be disappointed! Words marked…
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Microwaves are actually radio-waves (not radioactive like Alpha, Beta and Gamma.)
But if you do stick your head in your microwave and jam the safety…I’m sure you’ll have…. *explosive results*
YEAHHHHHHHH
So you’re telling me microwaves play music. I need to catch up with technology.
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Yes, you will have the ability to pee a flourescent yellow and the ability to endure greater dosage of radiation to kill off the bad radiation from the microwave.
I can’t fight crime with that.
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You’ve been trying that, too?
Just don’t start jumping into toxic waste dumps. That went very, very poorly for me.
Are you currently typing with tentacles?
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Microwaves are millimeter-range electromagnetic radiations — not ionizing radiations like gamma rays or x-rays — that work by exciting water molecules in the items you are cooking. If you expose yourself to them, you will start cooking yourself from the inside out.
This was discovered by some early radar workers who stood in front of their radar emitter and later developed some nasty burns. Not recommended.
But no, there will be no super powers. Just nasty burns.
Damn, microwaves are badass.
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Time for a microwave death-ray. >:3
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The thing you have to worry about is that those hot pockets are still cooking even after you’ve opened the door, which is why it’s generally bad to ignore the standing time, you’re eating partially cooked food and cooking it in your stomach.
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maybe if you microwave a spider and let it bite you… that might get you some awesome powers…
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Great strip today. I would expect the “No” plane would probably come in from above and shoot the other plane out of the air though.
In regards to your possible future super hero abilites…the answer is “Yes” you will eventually gain those super powers. The issue with today’s Microwaves is that the radiation levels are so low as not to influx us in such a high degree, thus everyone would have super powers. You are on the right trick though with the Hot Pockets, what you want to do is increase your Hot Pocket intake to about a dozen a day….for starters. The crust of the Hot Pocket, along with that shiny sleeve they have you put it in, will hold radiation in the interior of the hot pocket for about 24 seconds after completion of cooking. So the trick is to eat them, and eat them fast. Don’t worry about the burns in your mouth, once you obtain your super human abilities, no one will be laughing at your crooked smile, or the lisp you have developed because of the heat blisters across the roof of your mouth.
As far as what ability you will develop, that is all dependent on the type of Microwave that is being used. Most GE brands will create Super Human Strength and the ability to fly (via flatulence), where as generic brands (The no name ones you find at your local Box Store for $20 or less) will typically create super sensitivity and the ability to become annoyed at any moment. Sure these aren’t necessarily desired super hero qualities, but they can cause others to either move out of your way or amongst the weak it will cause them to bend to your will. It’s amazing what folks will do to shut up super whiningness.
So don’t get side tracked by the doubts of others, keep standing strong in front of that Microwave, and consuming those Hot Pockets. Future generations need a Super Hero…and you never know, you may just be it one day.
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Now that’s just silly. You can’t get superpowers from a standard microwave. You have to convert it to drain it’s power from that strange green meteor rock you found last week.
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He needs to learn how to start texting…. It’s probably cheaper…
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I’m sorry, but all of the comics, movies, and cartoons are lying about how you get superpowers (well, except maybe Captain America)
You must find a mad scientist and let them make you their guinea pig. There is a SMALL chance (about 99.999867%) of you dying as a result, but if you survive, you should be have super powers
Or wake up with your head on a dogs body. But hey, you can lick your own crotch then, so either way, you win!
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But wouldn’t you then be licking a dog’s crotch?
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Well,
Unless you want some super cancer.
Otherwise, no.
But you could be Cancer man?
Spread the wondrous power of Cancer to everyone?
Would you like that? hmm? =3